he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
