Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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