Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Slut skills are useful in every country.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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