Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
