Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
