happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
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