no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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