i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
