Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Too much gin, very little bucket
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
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