The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
