We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
