I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
