SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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