found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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