if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
