Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
