I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
It's never too late to be topless.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
