True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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