best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
