Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Randomize
