Don't you send me to vm
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
