I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
We have started to decorate penises.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
