is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
