i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
