I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Just cropdusted the office
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
He felt like a one man threesome
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
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