bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
