If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
