still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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