so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
