I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize
