The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
