I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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