he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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