shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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