Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Randomize
