i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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