How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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