Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
