there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
