take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Just invented taco cereal.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
