thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
