No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Randomize
