One girl and one boy is just not enough.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
