That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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