Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
