I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
