Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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