I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Randomize
