Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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