just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
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